in which mama lets the baby cry

ohhhhhh alden. our loveable bun has had a rough week. we have ALL had a rough week.
that wonderful sleeping schedule that he created for himself has vanished in the cold wind and we have been left with a howling, traumatic non-routine in which nobody gets enough sleep. our best guess is that he is either finally, actually teething or going through a growth spurt. i've read that with new skills come a schedule upset, but this is ridiculous. last night bun cried* inconsolably for almost two hours, finally crashing around 2:15 this morning. holding him, nursing, rocking, bouncing, wearing, nothing calmed him down.

today was rather busy. after the 45 minute morning nap, we went to visit our group buddies in williamsburg for a little while, before having lunch and a shopping outing with kathryn. he held it together for the group, but was clearly sleepy and starting to complain when we left.

here is a little video of lunch time.

so tired from valerie soles on Vimeo.

this is when we first arrived. see how sleepy? i made sure to sit on the couch at the roebling tea room, hoping he would drift off while we ate. no such luck. as soon as my soup arrived, he was angry. so we gobbled down lunch and headed back out into the cold.

als fell asleep on the walk to the L, but woke up when we were switching trains at union square. he then stayed awake through a trip to the fabric store, whole foods and the entire trip home. he refused to nurse for any good amount of time on the whole outing, though i kept offering.

we got back home at 5:15, got changed, put jammies on, got into bed and nursed. once he was finished i bid him goodnight, said that i love him, kissed him on the forehead and left the room.

!!!!

i've never ever done this. he's always been asleep when we put him down. so, naturally, crying ensued and...i let it happen. i know. i swore i would never let him cry, but my head has been pounding all day, my back and shoulders ache and i was worried that i would get frustrated quickly and he would pick up on it, which would likely lead to more tears.

i went in after three minutes and he comfort nursed. then he rolled over and started talking and razzing, so i kissed him goodnight again and left. he talked to himself for a while, then realized i was gone and began crying again. i let him for about 5 minutes, then went in and he comfort nursed until he was...asleep! asleep! without bouncing! without major drama! without 100 verses of whatever he likes at the moment! amazing.

of course, he'll probably be up in like 20 minutes, but that's ok. he went to sleep without the moby wrap. there is hope.

*let it be known that i am SO tired that i originally spelled this "cryed."
there may be hope for sleep in the future, but as far as regaining whatever sort of intelligence i may have once had...not...so...much